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ING mop van de dag..

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  15. nestel 5 januari 2016 13:03

    • nestel

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    A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business?" The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."
    ...

    A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets but to his surprise found none.

    He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "You're a banker, right?" The young man answered, "Yes, I am."

    "Well, whoever heard of a banker put his hand in his own pocket?"
    Bijlage:
  16. nestel 12 juni 2016 13:52

    • nestel

      Lid sinds: 08 jan 2012

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    Ze hebben er weer een aantal bij de ballen!
    Let's play ball!,,,

    A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.

    She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.

    The president is curious, so he asks her, "Where did you get all this money?" The old lady replies, "I make bets."

    The president then asks, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

    The old woman says, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

    "Ha!" laughs the president, "That's ridiculous -- you can never win that kind of bet!"

    The old lady challenges, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

    "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

    The little old lady says, "OK. I'll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we'll see."

    The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. "OK," she says, "Time to drop your pants and settle this bet."

    The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his balls and asks if she could feel them. "Well, OK," says the bank president, "since there's so much money on the line."

    Just then, the lawyer starts banging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

    She replies, "I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's balls in my hand."
  17. nestel 3 oktober 2016 13:46

    • nestel

      Lid sinds: 08 jan 2012

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    New CEO
    There was a new CEO at a company who decided to fire all of the slackers, and when he gets done with that, he finds a dude leaning on his desk.
    He thinks "What the #$%#@ is he doing!?"
    So he walks up to the guy and says "What the #$%#@ are you doing!?"
    The guy says "I'm waiting to get paid."
    The CEO says "OK, how much do you get paid in a week?"
    The guy says "About $300."
    The CEO gives the guy $1200, and says "Now go away and never come back!"
    The guy walks away.
    The CEO says "Will someone please tell me what the #$%#@ I just did!?"
    An employee says "You just tipped the pizza man $1200."

    Helaas benadert dit de huidige werkelijkheid...
    De ivoren torens hebben vaak geen idee wat de "mensen op de werkvloer" doen, laat staan wie ze zijn, het zijn slechts cijfertjes... Vaak zijn ze zelf slackers...
    Wat er vanachter bespaard wordt gaat er van voren met bakken weer uit door wanbeleid en... ook als "bonus".

    Dit geldt natuurlijk niet voor iedereen, dat spreekt voor zich.

    www.interglot.nl/woordenboek/en/nl/ve...
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=x08HUCH4z7Y
  18. [verwijderd] 3 oktober 2016 21:56

    • [verwijderd]

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    ING: Investering Nooit Geldswaardig

    Ik geef mijn geld tegenwoordig uit aan drank. Enige manier om 40% te krijgen.

    Als je denkt dat niemand om je geeft, probeer eens een rekening niet te betalen.

    Maar goed, er zijn 3 type mensen:
    Mensen die kunnen tellen en mensen die niet kunnen tellen.

    Nog 1 dan: Hoe betaald een dinosaurus zijn rekening? Met een Tyrannosaurus cheque!
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